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My road to success is under more construction than the streets of Toronto.

faketual:

Perks of dating me: I’ll let you sleep on my boobs

Fault of dating me: My boobs aren’t that big

starrynights-:

shouldertappingghosts:

If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.

are you satan